What's the use?

I'm a 40-something-years-old woman with no house, no husband, no kids and an old dog that pees herself. *Sigh* Oh, and plunge in debt that I can't pay. Double *sigh*. I forgot to mention that I live a double life as the person that everyone want me to be and the person that I really am. It's not because I am a bad person, but because my personal choice about who I want to love is not the most popular between my family and friends. It's not that they don't love me, because I know they really do, but that little thing about my choice can tear their affection away from me, and I wouldn't live with that. It's so exhausting to live like this. I wish I could go back in time and make all the decisions completely different. Maybe I'd be happy by now... or dead. Either way it would be better than this. But it's too late for me. I've done what I've done and I love who I love. Or not.

Some times we have to make decisions that will affect our long future. Be smart.